When There's a Monster in Your Midst it Can't be Anything Else
A fairy tale for the ages.
This is a fairy tale. But that’s not to say it couldn’t happen:
Once upon a time there were two villages within yelling distance of each other. There was a time they all got along—or most of them, anyway—but now, what with cattle rustling and wife stealing and fence moving and all, they almost never saw eye to eye. The truth was, they couldn’t stand each other.
They severed all trade relations and even built roads around the village peripheries so they would never have to come in contact. It wasn’t easy, and sometimes it didn’t work, sometimes certain factions fought, and sometimes villagers from both sides got together and didn’t tell anybody, but there it was. Two villages side by side yet so very far apart.
Then, through no fault of either village (I’m staying out of it), a monster appeared. A real monster. Fire-breathing and mean as hell, even when he thought he was being nice.
One village, Biliousburg, is afraid of the monster but thinks it's best to go along with it against Personia, the other village, because, you know, they did those THINGS.
Personia sees the writing on the wall or the smoke in the distance or something lost now to the mists of story and calls on Biliousburg to join them in vanquishing that vile, HUGE creature who, they see clearly, doesn’t like either one of them but wants power and profit and he’s growing bigger by the day.
So imagine Personia’s surprise when Biliousburg says, "We’ll think about it, but only if you admit you were wrong that time you took our Yahtzee table and turned it into a Tiddlywinks board."
"Seriously?" says Personia. "We've got a monster breathing down on us and you want an apology for that??"
To which Biliousburg, really incensed now, adds, "And while we're at it, we don't like your village leaders. Never have. Get rid of them and put our guys in place or no deal."
Personia, poor Personia, thinking only about the monster and not about hurt feelings, deliberately disremembers the mean things that other village has done to them, and, Hera help them, laughs out loud at an already incensed village full of Biliousburgers.
Personia says, "Seriously?? There's a monster out there! Ha ha! Come ON!"
Big mistake. "Forget it,” Biliousburg says, “we're not helping you".
Biliousburg, for whatever reason (history apparently hasn’t figured it out, either), makes conciliatory moves toward the monster, giving him their full support, and the monster, seeing his chance, takes the opportunity to eat the Village of Personia whole.
Whoa!
For a while the Biliousburgers, nervous now and a bit wary, kept a wobbly peace with the monster. Over time the monster grew bigger and stronger, while some of the villagers began to notice they were growing smaller. And weaker.
A few of the villagers stayed awake nights worrying about it, but stopped mentioning it when the others chastised them for being such downers. They still had sunsets to watch and cute kittens to giggle over, and so what if they couldn't get lattes or pineapples or whale oil for their lamps? It wasn't perfect but it wasn't the end of the world.
And besides, they had to admit—didn’t they?—the monster was kinda entertaining. I mean…he said things nobody else could get away with. And he did hate the Personians worse…
So…
But, as monsters are wont, this one demanded too much. The Biliousburgers couldn't keep up, couldn't make him happy, couldn't even feed themselves or keep roofs over their heads.
No matter how hard they tried.
I mean…it was a monster!
They decided they’d have to fight that thing.
But when they looked around, they saw they were only one small village. There was nobody else to help them.
They never had a chance. The monster, disgusted with their constant whining, outraged over their inability to grow the size of their rallies, and realizing there was no more money to be made off of them, ate them whole.
Ate the entire village.
The moral of the story is that if the Village of Biliousburg had only forgiven their differences and worked together with the Village of Personia they might have had enough resources to take on the monster, destroy him for good, and live relatively happily ever after.
By the time the Biliousburgers had decided the Personians weren’t so bad, the monster in their midst had taken matters into his own claws…
… and there was no turning back.
If only they had understood that thing Lady Hillary had tried to teach them:
It does, indeed, take a village.
This makes me think of Donald Trump cleverly disguised as a different monster.
Village idiot McCONnell Manychins is solely responsible for not containing the monster, when the opportunity presented itself a second time, after the siege.