Yes, but I would say we learned from each other. That was the absolute beauty of our relationship, but it was a hard sell at times. We reserved the right to retain some of ourselves in every clash and we never went to bed angry.
We were kids when we married. We had to learn about life together, but we especially had to learn to compromise without resenting it. Once we understood it was a kind of partnership it grew easier.
We have said it before - our stories are so similar. Your words spoke to me. It's not having someone to share decision-making with, not having that someone who was there for me for 60 years, and who added so much to my life. I had a dream this morning, I was overwhelmed with things to do that for some reason I couldn't do - or thought I couldn't do. Dan came into the dream assessed the situation and began helping me fix it - in his typical fashion.
Janice, it's awful that we only came to share our similar stories because they both end the same way. Your Dan is your treasure and Ed is mine, and we'll hold them close because more of our memories are worth keeping than those we'd rather throw out.
When Ed is in my dreams they're almost always mundane and normal, and I don't think it's odd that he's there until I wake up. I hope those dreams never stop.
I was thrilled when Dan came back into my dreams - in those moments he is so real and we are a team again - even for a very short while. I treasure them, and like you hope they never stop.
Our stories have so many parallels Ramona except I was the caregiver and that 12 year age spread was always a kind of unspoken acknowledgement that Don would probably transition before me. Sending you a virtual hug and wishes for some peace of mind. I had an "expectation" at the end of the first year that somehow some kind of "new normal" would have come into being. Now I see more clearly that this is probably a life-long process of "reinvention" as Prue mentioned recently. I like Alice's approach of "trust your instincts". At the same time I have also been told that on occasion I can allow myself to "make a decision not to make a decision" for the moment. Stay well....
Oh...tears. Such tender memories. And here you are, with your will to press on still kicking. Despite the inability to see him physically, I am 100% sure that the vital parts of you and Ed continue to co-exist. He's part of you, and vice versa. Fear not! Your decision-making apparatus is sound! Look at you go!
Trust your instincts. Wishing you the best and good health.
Thank you. Trusting my instincts may not be the best advice! 😉
Ed sounds like one heck of a guy, Ramona. x
He was, but I don't want him to come off as a saint. He was totally human!
I had cancer after I had already learned to grieve, so I knew I could survive it. I'm thinking/hoping it can work the other way 'round, too.
Oh, that must have been tough! It's never easy, I know, but that on top of grieving...
Yet here you are! Brava!
Brava to you, too.
You learned so much about how to live from Ed…..he is proud if you♥️
Yes, but I would say we learned from each other. That was the absolute beauty of our relationship, but it was a hard sell at times. We reserved the right to retain some of ourselves in every clash and we never went to bed angry.
We were kids when we married. We had to learn about life together, but we especially had to learn to compromise without resenting it. Once we understood it was a kind of partnership it grew easier.
We have said it before - our stories are so similar. Your words spoke to me. It's not having someone to share decision-making with, not having that someone who was there for me for 60 years, and who added so much to my life. I had a dream this morning, I was overwhelmed with things to do that for some reason I couldn't do - or thought I couldn't do. Dan came into the dream assessed the situation and began helping me fix it - in his typical fashion.
Janice, it's awful that we only came to share our similar stories because they both end the same way. Your Dan is your treasure and Ed is mine, and we'll hold them close because more of our memories are worth keeping than those we'd rather throw out.
When Ed is in my dreams they're almost always mundane and normal, and I don't think it's odd that he's there until I wake up. I hope those dreams never stop.
I was thrilled when Dan came back into my dreams - in those moments he is so real and we are a team again - even for a very short while. I treasure them, and like you hope they never stop.
I suspect it's because we haven't given up the idea of being a couple. This singlehood is still too new!
yes - and not by choice.
That's the terrible part.
Mona,
You are my hero in so many ways! Keep on being you…and stay well!
❤️K
Thank you, dearheart. And thank you for always being there for me. ❤️️
Hugs from Ohio!
Mary! You're almost here! Huge hugs back!
Let me know when the doors open.
Behind you all the way, Ramona. Whether you want to talk about it or not. Solidarity...
Our stories have so many parallels Ramona except I was the caregiver and that 12 year age spread was always a kind of unspoken acknowledgement that Don would probably transition before me. Sending you a virtual hug and wishes for some peace of mind. I had an "expectation" at the end of the first year that somehow some kind of "new normal" would have come into being. Now I see more clearly that this is probably a life-long process of "reinvention" as Prue mentioned recently. I like Alice's approach of "trust your instincts". At the same time I have also been told that on occasion I can allow myself to "make a decision not to make a decision" for the moment. Stay well....
Oh...tears. Such tender memories. And here you are, with your will to press on still kicking. Despite the inability to see him physically, I am 100% sure that the vital parts of you and Ed continue to co-exist. He's part of you, and vice versa. Fear not! Your decision-making apparatus is sound! Look at you go!