Your path is mirroring mine for all the reasons you wrote except that I'm just a bit younger. However, I can hear my clock ticking too. When I remind myself that now is all I really have, that now is usually just fine. Slipping back to the past is painful and there are so many uncomfortable emotions I want to leave them there- in the past. If I fear the future I stop to face the fear knowing it could easily turn into those yucky emotions of the past and I did get through it. For now, all is well. I do my best to stay here, in the now. Thank you Mona for so eloquently strumming my life with your words, now!
Ah, Lisa, I see so much courage in the way you deal with your struggles--including your decision to remove yourself from the sources whenever you can. I think you must live in a place of beauty, as well, and I'm so in favor of using beauty and nature as healers.
You add so much to the comment sections here. I want to thank you for that. This is a safe place, as is Writer Everlasting, my other Substack page, and I'm always happy when I see so many of you open up and talk about your own experiences, your own reactions.
Again,Mona, i love your writing. this time you left me sad then happy. grieving is a strange duck. everyone is different and no one can tell you how to feel. you control that. it’s part of life’s cycle.
I admit I never thought this much about grieving before, even though I've lost so many people I've cared about deeply, but now that I have, I'm finding it all kind of fascinating!
I have so little control over my emotions these days, and I feel sometimes I'm on speed, while other times I'm definitely tranquilized. I never know, waking up, which it will be.
As I said, fascinating. The one thing I do know is I'm not alone, and if I can make even a little sense out of it by writing in a way that might open some eyes, I'm going to do it.
I absolutely loved every bit of this. After going through assorted sadnesses in my own life, I foolishly thought that retirement might be clear sailing. It is SO difficult not to get stuck in the past even whilst doing things to help others, volunteering and being profoundly grateful each day for what I do have. I'd like to hear you talk more about fear - and its even meaner cousin, Dread. And just to let you know this is a great read. Thank you! See you on The Binders which is where I found you in the first place.
Welcome! I love the Binders and have joined a few that I find so useful and interesting!
I hadn't thought about writing about fear and dread outside of the pages at Writer Everlasting, where it has come up. I'll certainly give it some thought.
I hear you loud and clear. My husband departed this life in November of 2007. More than 15 years ago. It kind of amazes me when I realize it's been that long, but I've kept busy with many and diverse activities. I eventually had to retire from stage directing when I was 78 and realized standing through 3 hour rehearsals 3 days a week had become at least difficult, and walking across an icy parking lot into the high school where I directed for over 20 years was probably at the very least a bad idea. But in the meantime I'd started writing books, and I'm still doing that. Working on book number 17 at present, and fortunately, like you, my eyes, fingers and most of my brain seem to be working pretty well. Nights are tough because lots of memories come flooding back sometimes...and lots of "if onlys". I'm still not sure why I'm still here, but I've decided to make the best of it and hope things don't get too complicated. Whether that's a good attitude or not I have no idea, but at the moment, that's where I am. My books take me away for hours at a time and that's definitely a good thing. My voice students give me joy (most of the time). I'm grateful my eyes are holding up though my back definitely is not, and I for sure get that not walking a mile in anybody's shoes, especially mine, these days. I'm trying to take it one day at a time. The average life expectancy for females in this country is currently 85, and I just joined that club. I wish I had something more inspirational or encouraging to say, but I don't. And I found myself talking aloud to myself in the supermarket parking lot this morning. Yikes.
Oh, Susan, I love everything you wrote here, but that last line made me LOL.
You do know you're my role model, right? I can't even finish one novel, and you've written 17!
We've been online friends long enough now that I know you operate much as I do--in the joy aisle rather than over there where the rotting produce sits.
These are our choices, no matter what life has thrown at us, and I really do think we get each other. Is it our mutual age? Our gender? Who knows. But I do know one thing--even after everything we've been through, I'd rather be us!
Love Horace's whole quote which being the Pollyanna I mistakenly am, I saw as (here comes another cliche!) 'live for the moment'.
With that in mind, we finally have summer, and I have Day Two of Grandchild Aged Four, so tired as I am, I shall seize the day and try and look at the beach, sea and life through his eyes. Despite his endless energy, he's so refreshingly simple and joyful. Maybe that's the key - simplicity and joy...
You express my daily struggle. After two years, the hole in my heart is as large or larger than ever. As you say, the holidays were nice, but that one person , who made my life special, wasn't sharing it with me. I keep looking for the bright side - but it seems to be missing in action.
I have a feeling it will get worse before it gets better, and I’m trying to prepare for that. But keeping busy seems to help. Still, those moments seep in where there’s nothing to do but give in.. I’m just glad 2022 is behind me.
No one knows what tomorrow may bring and one of my favorite sayings is "Life is what happens when you've made other plans" (that seems to date back to 1950's Reader's Digest, at least in this particular form). So now I make less plans and just let life happen.
As a young person, I hated the phrase "Everything changes." Fortunately, at some point I learned that Ovid didn't stop after "Omnia mutantur." He finished the observation with "...nihil interit"
Everything changes...nothing is lost.
So far, I've found that I can, eventually, deal with everything changing when I remember that nothing--no love, no happiness, no knowledge, no sacrifice--is ever lost.
I admit to being a cliche-user as well. They're just so apt and tend to grease conversations along. Now I want to try to have a conversation with someone just using cliches. That sounds fun!!
I don't think Horace's original quote is a downer. It's more of a plea to enjoy today because you don't know what tomorrow will bring. In today's parlance, we call it being mindful or present-focused. His words were more poetic.
I'm glad for your Pollyanna tendencies. We need all the hope we can get!
Re: the cliche conversation: It WAS fun! And really, a cliche can't become a cliche without the popularity. Right? So we're not alone.
I thought the quote was a downer by asking me not to trust tomorrow. It's probably true that tomorrow isn't exactly trustworthy, but it goes against that whole idea of hope. And the one thing that keeps me going is hope!
LOL! I would rephrase the Horace quote as, “Enjoy the day! (Tomorrow could be worse.)”
I can work with that. 😁
{*{*{*hugs*}*}*} Ramona!
Yes, that's much less jarring. It has a Yiddish ring to it. Always fun!
Your path is mirroring mine for all the reasons you wrote except that I'm just a bit younger. However, I can hear my clock ticking too. When I remind myself that now is all I really have, that now is usually just fine. Slipping back to the past is painful and there are so many uncomfortable emotions I want to leave them there- in the past. If I fear the future I stop to face the fear knowing it could easily turn into those yucky emotions of the past and I did get through it. For now, all is well. I do my best to stay here, in the now. Thank you Mona for so eloquently strumming my life with your words, now!
YES precisely.
Ah, Lisa, I see so much courage in the way you deal with your struggles--including your decision to remove yourself from the sources whenever you can. I think you must live in a place of beauty, as well, and I'm so in favor of using beauty and nature as healers.
You add so much to the comment sections here. I want to thank you for that. This is a safe place, as is Writer Everlasting, my other Substack page, and I'm always happy when I see so many of you open up and talk about your own experiences, your own reactions.
I never want this to just be about me.
We're all in this together, right? It's so helpful to share our experiences.
Thank you for the platform!
Yes, exactly! That was my plan!
Again,Mona, i love your writing. this time you left me sad then happy. grieving is a strange duck. everyone is different and no one can tell you how to feel. you control that. it’s part of life’s cycle.
I admit I never thought this much about grieving before, even though I've lost so many people I've cared about deeply, but now that I have, I'm finding it all kind of fascinating!
I have so little control over my emotions these days, and I feel sometimes I'm on speed, while other times I'm definitely tranquilized. I never know, waking up, which it will be.
As I said, fascinating. The one thing I do know is I'm not alone, and if I can make even a little sense out of it by writing in a way that might open some eyes, I'm going to do it.
Thanks for sticking with me!
I absolutely loved every bit of this. After going through assorted sadnesses in my own life, I foolishly thought that retirement might be clear sailing. It is SO difficult not to get stuck in the past even whilst doing things to help others, volunteering and being profoundly grateful each day for what I do have. I'd like to hear you talk more about fear - and its even meaner cousin, Dread. And just to let you know this is a great read. Thank you! See you on The Binders which is where I found you in the first place.
Welcome! I love the Binders and have joined a few that I find so useful and interesting!
I hadn't thought about writing about fear and dread outside of the pages at Writer Everlasting, where it has come up. I'll certainly give it some thought.
Thanks for your kind words.
I have yet to master this! It's an ongoing struggle being human.
Thanks! And no problem with the cliches - I think of them as aphorisms, or, as McLuhan said, "From Cliche to Archetype."
😄😄😄
Aphorisms! Okay!
Archetype! Groovy! 😘
I hear you loud and clear. My husband departed this life in November of 2007. More than 15 years ago. It kind of amazes me when I realize it's been that long, but I've kept busy with many and diverse activities. I eventually had to retire from stage directing when I was 78 and realized standing through 3 hour rehearsals 3 days a week had become at least difficult, and walking across an icy parking lot into the high school where I directed for over 20 years was probably at the very least a bad idea. But in the meantime I'd started writing books, and I'm still doing that. Working on book number 17 at present, and fortunately, like you, my eyes, fingers and most of my brain seem to be working pretty well. Nights are tough because lots of memories come flooding back sometimes...and lots of "if onlys". I'm still not sure why I'm still here, but I've decided to make the best of it and hope things don't get too complicated. Whether that's a good attitude or not I have no idea, but at the moment, that's where I am. My books take me away for hours at a time and that's definitely a good thing. My voice students give me joy (most of the time). I'm grateful my eyes are holding up though my back definitely is not, and I for sure get that not walking a mile in anybody's shoes, especially mine, these days. I'm trying to take it one day at a time. The average life expectancy for females in this country is currently 85, and I just joined that club. I wish I had something more inspirational or encouraging to say, but I don't. And I found myself talking aloud to myself in the supermarket parking lot this morning. Yikes.
Oh, Susan, I love everything you wrote here, but that last line made me LOL.
You do know you're my role model, right? I can't even finish one novel, and you've written 17!
We've been online friends long enough now that I know you operate much as I do--in the joy aisle rather than over there where the rotting produce sits.
These are our choices, no matter what life has thrown at us, and I really do think we get each other. Is it our mutual age? Our gender? Who knows. But I do know one thing--even after everything we've been through, I'd rather be us!
Love Horace's whole quote which being the Pollyanna I mistakenly am, I saw as (here comes another cliche!) 'live for the moment'.
With that in mind, we finally have summer, and I have Day Two of Grandchild Aged Four, so tired as I am, I shall seize the day and try and look at the beach, sea and life through his eyes. Despite his endless energy, he's so refreshingly simple and joyful. Maybe that's the key - simplicity and joy...
Lucky you, Prue, being able to look at the ordinary through a child's eyes. They see things in ways we've forgotten we ever did.
Pluck the day! Enjoy! And trust as MUCH as possible in the next one!
You express my daily struggle. After two years, the hole in my heart is as large or larger than ever. As you say, the holidays were nice, but that one person , who made my life special, wasn't sharing it with me. I keep looking for the bright side - but it seems to be missing in action.
I have a feeling it will get worse before it gets better, and I’m trying to prepare for that. But keeping busy seems to help. Still, those moments seep in where there’s nothing to do but give in.. I’m just glad 2022 is behind me.
I hope this year is better for you, too.
No one knows what tomorrow may bring and one of my favorite sayings is "Life is what happens when you've made other plans" (that seems to date back to 1950's Reader's Digest, at least in this particular form). So now I make less plans and just let life happen.
Another apt saying. I used to read all of those nuggets from The Reader’s Digest when I was young. Looks like they stuck!
As a young person, I hated the phrase "Everything changes." Fortunately, at some point I learned that Ovid didn't stop after "Omnia mutantur." He finished the observation with "...nihil interit"
Everything changes...nothing is lost.
So far, I've found that I can, eventually, deal with everything changing when I remember that nothing--no love, no happiness, no knowledge, no sacrifice--is ever lost.
‘Everything changes, nothing is lost.’ Perfect. I’m adding it to my list!
I admit to being a cliche-user as well. They're just so apt and tend to grease conversations along. Now I want to try to have a conversation with someone just using cliches. That sounds fun!!
I don't think Horace's original quote is a downer. It's more of a plea to enjoy today because you don't know what tomorrow will bring. In today's parlance, we call it being mindful or present-focused. His words were more poetic.
I'm glad for your Pollyanna tendencies. We need all the hope we can get!
Re: the cliche conversation: It WAS fun! And really, a cliche can't become a cliche without the popularity. Right? So we're not alone.
I thought the quote was a downer by asking me not to trust tomorrow. It's probably true that tomorrow isn't exactly trustworthy, but it goes against that whole idea of hope. And the one thing that keeps me going is hope!