10 Comments

We're of the same generation and I'm with you. I've resisted it. However, I admit to using it ONCE in almost-14 novels, in dialogue, and it wasn't me, it was the character, a really, really, bad guy who wasn't easy to write. When I warned my readers about it some of them told me they had to go back and look for it. I took that to mean it belonged there. I still don't like it.

Expand full comment

LOL, Susan, if they had to go back and look for it, it means they didn't even notice. It's the world we live in now. I can't say I'll ever get used to it, but I guess I have to accept that it's not going away!

Expand full comment

In my 20s and early 30s I swore like a sailor because, um, I was in the Navy. (Y’know how getting a girlfriend makes most guys tone it down? Yeah, mine was also a Navy officer. Swore as much as I did.) At one point I shocked a Navy chief with my language; she was a reservist on weekend duty, but still, I tried to be more careful.

Once I became a civilian, I tried to reprogram myself. Fortunately, I had a wealth of Yiddish swear words thanks to Jewish classmates in high school. So then, since the universe has a meshugge sense of humor, my first civilian boss was Israeli. (Yes, modern Hebrew incorporates old Yiddish profanity. Oops.)

So in Pennsylvania I tried British swear words. Yup, got a Brit boss. Although he corrected me on some of my usage.

Now I use “frak” a lot. (From Battlestar Galactica. Anybody? Anybody?) My wife knows when I am REALLY torqued because I drop back to my Navy days.

Expand full comment

I think it's our ages. It was a bad, bad, bad word when I was young, and I rarely heard it. If I did, it hit like a ton of bricks, and I guess it carried over. You would think I'd have accepted it by now but it still makes me wince.

Until Ted Lasso, that is, when I heard it so often I finally realized I wasn't wincing, but laughing instead. The overuse became ludicrous! So I'm evolving. Who knew?

Expand full comment

I don't like it either - I will sound like a prude (which I'm not) but I find it kind of vulgar. I do say it occasionally, but I save it for when I'm really upset or mad. My husband says he know when he's really in trouble when I use it ha.

Side note, my mom did not like swearing AT ALL. I slipped up as a teenager on the phone with her and said shit once, and she reminded me she "didn't like that bathroom talk" (A line we still use in our family in loving memory of my mom). I only heard her say damn once when she scorched something she was ironing. Actually only heard my Dad say damn once also, when I totalled my mom's brand new car - I know I would have said much worse to my daughter!

Expand full comment

LOL. I'm trying to picture your mom saying 'damn'. I can't!

And I didn't know you'd totaled her car! Damn!

Expand full comment

I'll admit it: I love the f-word. It's so versatile. While in college and just learning about it, someone showed me how it fits into all 8 parts of speech. There's also something rebellious about using it. Tons of people hate it while others know things are really serious when you use it (because I don't use it indiscriminately). Plus, and I don't know why, but it's just so satisfying to say. I also have tried the "frak" from BSG that JackH mentioned but it just doesn't have the same panache. But to each their own.

Expand full comment

I also LOVE it! I've always (and even shamefully as a child - although not in front of my parents until I was older!) used it. In fact, it's become a bit of a signature word for me (although probably that applies to cuss words in general). For me, words are just words - yes they carrying meanings, but they exist for a reason, and it also very much depends on the context in which they were used. I wouldn't tell someone to f-off except in jest (probably the Australian in me) or if I was very angry. I also think we have progressed past the f-word - and in my circles now the c-word has entered the vernacular...

Expand full comment

I get it that to some it's just a word. In fact, to MOST it's just a word, but you really don't want to go there with me and the 'C' word. Maybe it's age, maybe it's culture, but I don't find anything to laugh at about it. I surely wouldn't call that 'progressing'.

In my circles--and we've talked about the 'c' word often--it's the worst and always will be. We lived too long through having it used as a dirty insult against us.

Expand full comment

I think at one time it might have been considered 'rebellious', especially among women, but now I'd call it 'ubiquitous'. LOL. I know I'm almost alone in this and it's okay. Pretty sure it's a generational thing, and that's okay, too.

Expand full comment