12 Comments

Wishing you peaceful moments as you grieve.

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Thank you, Christine.

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Grief is such an odd, personal thing and our society has no idea what to do with it. Many people don't know what to say, so they say nothing. Or they give platitudes or say stupid things. Those who care want so badly for us to be over it, to be who we were again, that they don't allow time to grieve. Even the workplace and larger society want grieving to take a few days - a week at most - and then you're expected to continue on with life. If only it was that easy.

Grieving changes you, both good and bad. It catches you in odd moments and changes the filter with which you view the world and even your own memories. It's so hard. I remain so sorry for your loss and am sending you strength, courage, and what fleeting moments of comfort and peace you can find.

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Thank you, Misty. It creeps up and grabs me and I have no control. But I do have control over how I deal with it and that's what I'm trying to do now. I know in my heart that this is too personal to go on sharing. What I think today I may not think tomorrow, and so much of it is still raw. I'm writing in my journal when I can face it, but even then I want my grief to stay within me. I don't want to have to explain it. It's as if it's our last remaining thing together.

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After my father died 15 years ago, a friend wrote to offer words of comfort and support. In her experience, the amount of grief felt is proportionate to the love that was shared. That has been my experience, too. Sending you peace and strength.

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Thank you for your thoughts. That makes perfect sense.

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Years and years ago after a rough break up, a friend suggested the book How to Survive the Loss of A Love by by Peter McWilliams, Harold H. Bloomfield, and Melba Colgrove. One of the things that has stuck with me ever since is that grief looks all kinds of ways and changes like New England weather (that is, it's all over the place). I remember feeling everything to stone cold depressed to oddly giddy to utterly distracted to excited. All. The. Things. Just let them roll through, my friend. As has already been said, big love give big grief. Thank you for sharing your process with us rather than platitudes. xo

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I understand, Mona

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Yes, I know you do, Joyce. Love is everything.

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You have been in my thoughts. I don't know if I would still write if I were in your shoes. (plus I'm sure my feet are bigger than yours, so my feet would probably hurt too..:) You have made a positive impact in a lot of us, and I'm glad to wait for your future wisdom and stories. Thanks for sharing, and take care!✌️

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Love you so......

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