I'm going to write this fast, while I can, but don't think you have to be sad for me.
I hold you and Ed close to my heart and honor your bond and deep love. Thank you for sharing your humanity and humility. A friend told me the other day that she read a quote about grief. I don't remember who said it but it goes like this........time does not heal the open wound of the heart. It's the scar tissue that grows to numb the pain so we can continue on......
Thank you for sharing these tender days. You are showing us if not The Way, a way through. Big hug.
It’s really kinda shocking it’s been a year. Time flies. Maybe not so much for you right now. I don’t know. Does it slow down?
There are 6 years between Bob and I. I’m 70 and he’s 76. He’s taken much better care of himself than I have, he may well out live me.
I think about it often after just shy of 51 years of marriage, which would be easier, him or me going first? I guess I’ve decided we’ll just go together, kinda like in “The Notebook.”
In some ways, I wouldn’t mind having complete control of the remote control, not having to cook or clean house if I don’t want to, traveling wherever I want without having to worry if it’s dangerous. But would it be worth it if it means having half of me gone?
Like yours, our relationship has not always been easy. There were times when it seemed to make more sense to go out separate ways. But I’m so glad we didn’t take the easy way. After all these years we seem to have figured it out for the most part. Not that there aren’t still battle royales from time to time. There are bound to be between two pig-headed people, but they are fewer and farther between and I’ve accepted that he’s messed up, and he’s accepted that I am. It’s hard to imagine not being him here.
I want to thank you for sharing your story, your feelings. Somehow it’s helpful knowing the almost unthinkable is survivable. I treasure your thoughts.
Now if we could just get rid of that word “widow.” I don’t like it. You’re a survivor. A warrior. ❤️
Sending a big virtual hug. I love that pic of you and Ed, my absolute favorite. You look like the coolest kids ever ❤️❤️
How wonderful that you have been able to focus enough to write, and brilliantly from the heart, through your deep deep grief…..that takes strength , determination & dare I say TALENT. Thank you for sharing your life with us. I will be thinking of you tomorrow…..
Thank you for sharing your love story with us. Your grief is papable (you are an excellent writer) but still there is so much beauty and tenderness in the story. I find such solace in it.
That is what I have found as well - life goes on, grief is not constant, and my love for Dan remains forever.
Thanks for sharing yourself with us, Ramona. That picture is truly adorable: two cute kids against a lovely backdrop. I hope the day goes quickly and smoothly.
That hit me hard. Sending you lots of love and support while you go through this reminder of love and loss.
O, Pioneer! Don and I have been happily married for an unusually high percentage of the years since 1970 and we are very aware that nothing lasts forever. You are planting sign posts for our future. Thank you.
Thinking of you, Ramona. I always somehow thank Ed for introducing me to your wise and succinct words via Substack - so thank you, Ed. She's a special woman.
Thinking of you today. I loved your thoughts on not remembering him as a saint and your dream of an average day of bickering. 💛
Mona, I'm sure this wasn't easy to write but as usual it is beautifully written.
❤️ <--that’s all I have because there are no words for this except: Thank you for sharing.
“Grieving for me is not a constant. I’m grateful for that. But loving my Ed is.” Thank you for grieving out loud with us. Writing is how I’ve been able to grieve and go on loving, too.