One step at a time
Walking the walk as well. Thank you for this opportunity.
So very sorry for your loss, Ramona. Welcome to the club none of us wanted to be in. I have written extensively about my own grief and loss journey in the 8 1/2 years since my husband died, and that is the one area where I have learned I don’t mind sharing in an incredibly personal way. I hope you don’t mind some advice from a fellow widow (who still talks to her grief counselor): if it helps you process, keep writing about your pain, and don’t judge yourself for what you feel, think, say, do or write in any area of your life right now. You are going through something devastating that few can comprehend unless they have been there.
Also, I leaned this from my very wise grief counselor and perhaps it helps. Your marriage did not end with Ed’s death. You are still married. You will always be married. You get to check that box “married” for as long as you wish, or forever!
Writing about life and death has been a salvation for me. It has been very hard at times. I spent most of this July sleeping - a year after. There are no rules. We do it our way. I'm here for you.
Gosh Ramona…you really are such a strong woman. It’s hard for me to imagine widowhood, but we’ll all be there someday. I know I will be profoundly lonely. I find myself planning…should we move closer to one of the kids, stay put, get all the paperwork finished…
I admire you for opening up to us. After all, I only know you from commenting. That being said, I have made some wonderful friends by meeting those with whom I’ve commented on posts. You can tell when someone is heartfelt.
I know your new “walk” is different. Overwhelming. Unpredictable. Lonely. My hope is that the big hole in your heart will begin to fill with good people who can comfort you and bring joy to your life. I’m a good listener, and I’m always available if you just want a shoulder to cry on. If I lived closer, I’d stop by for a glass of wine, and I’d bring cookies, because…well….it’s cookies. 😊
Sending a warm hug from the OR coast.